I was going to post my usual Monday morning randoms,
but when I opened my e-mail this morning I found this.
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If you're reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to write to you so good for me. You know me very well and I tend to go on and on about how hard it sometimes is to put word to feelings for me. But this.. this is the hardest thing I ever had to write.
There no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it, I met someone online.
It was an accident, I wasn’t looking for it, it was a perfect storm.
She said one thing and I said another and the next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.
Now there this feeling in my gut that she might be the one.
She is completely nuts in a way that makes me smile highly neurotic, a great deal of maintenance acquired.
She is you Signe, that’s the good news.
So sorry to tease you with the build up.
The bad news is that I don't always know the right things to say or do and that scares the shit out of me, mostly because I don't want to be without you anymore.
Because if I am not with you right now I have this feeling I will get lost out there.
It’s a big bad world full or twist and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could of changed everything.
I don’t know how it will go with us and I can’t tell you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me.
But damn you smell good, like home.
And you make excellent burgers that has to count for something, right?
Only 1 month left now and then I can finally start my life with you.
I love you and I can't wait.
Your kitten, Cas.
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I teared up. He does this you know. Sends me little e-mails every now or then, when I least expect it. He writes me a poem for my birthday every year. And he loves to tease me like that! See, he might have had me worried there for a second if I was not so sure of him.
I just laughed.
1 month left today! So like him to remember that and make something special out of it.
I love you right back Cas. You make me want to be a better person.
And I promise to make you chili burgers at least once a month for the rest of our days!
30 days and counting!!